About Erdal

Istanbul Technical University .. another five years.. focusing on engineering. But struggling with stunted emotional growth. Basically.. the society takes you and shapes you into its image.. those who don’t comply can be artists and mavericks.. or criminals.. some become politicians and try to dominate it. Of course there are relatively healthy people as well.. But if you ask me.. Turkish people are very traumatized.. just like many other nations.. just like humanity. A humanity which is almost constantly at war within itself. 

But isn’t there a good side of this? Or course there is.. 

Erdal initially had a tough time adjusting to living in a different city away from his family. His first years at the university, he was challenged. He lost one year, because he was not fulfilled in where he was and was searching for an answer and he neglected his lessons. After the third year he excelled and got good grades. After getting his university degree.. Erdal started working as a software engineer in Havelsan.. one of the large corporations which did business mainly for government. He worked in a large software project for the Justice Ministry for a few years.. He did his best and became a successful part of the team that worked on this large software project: UYAP 2. But he started suffocate emotionally and gave his resignation 3 months before he left the company. He had fine colleagues.. and had fun.. but felt that his efforts were getting lost in a sea of chaos.. and what were they working for again?

He got a Master’s Degree in Software Management while he was freelancing and eventually worked in another government project giving this best again. They did a good work with a small team to create U-Net, an automation software for Transportation and Communications Ministry. His work was basically bringing part of the business flow of the ministry into the software so that they could work more efficiently. He was eventually bored to tears and mentally spent while trying to optimize the bureaucratic workflow.. but their efforts as a small team for 8 months brought the Love into the servers and the project was successful and became a foundation for a software that has been developed over many many years. Yet, Erdal was spent.. there had to be something more.. and he left the project to his teammates. 

After this.. he worked on a personal project to create a device to remotely control irrigation of fields. He put together an initial prototype. After some effort and some improvisation in the field.. It seemed to be working. But his part supplier stopped supplying the parts and he had to restart. This time he couldn’t make it work with the new parts he used. He started again .. and this time used different components.. and the help of an electronics company. It still didn’t work.. His lack of knowledge in electronics and the company he worked with was holding him back. So he started his own company with encouragement from a relative and a consultant company, and applied for government grants. He hired a small team of technicians and engineers. He began with little finances.. worked with 100% effort.. but some assumptions were wrong such as the timing of the payment of the government grant.. and people turned sour when the money wasn’t coming in.. 

All the while.. he was working also on personal development.. and mainly since university he was in pursuit of truth.. He was successful when looked from outside.. but he was also consciously and unconsciously fighting with an inner emotional suffering. 

He was also a fan of exercise since High School.. mainly martial arts, running and various exercises he was gathering from here and there.. into his thirties he practiced Kendo intensely under Japanese teachers for about 5 years. He competed internationally in European Kendo Championships. He still practices a combined form of martial arts and exercises, depending on the level of his energy, fitness and desire, sometimes irregularly, and lately more regularly.

He was influenced by many personal development experts such as Tony Robbins and Steve Pavlina.. When his company was failing financially, people around him were also very judgmental.. This was a huge struggle.. working very hard.. dealing with the system that the society has created.. doing his best.. trying to get to the bottom of it.. and in the end it became a huge disappointment for him; it seemed the ego he had inherited from the society had failed.. 

And indeed it had come to a breaking point.. coinciding with those times.. he became aware of deeper truths about our true nature. He entered a period of existential crisis and intense seeking.. struggling with emotions that were coming to the surface buried deep long before under the ego he had been constructing. There were many years of learning to deal with this chaos.. and allowing part of himself to be a child.. a teenager.. or whatever it was desiring to express. to allow it to grow.. 

He also found great teachers during this period.. and worked to understand their teachings.. A few to mention are Osho and Lincoln Gergar. It took some time and many mistakes (limited understandings) were revealed and lessons were taken while he was trying to understand deeper realities about human nature. He started sharing his journey, struggles and insights in his writings online.. and with some friends and other people. 

His analytical and contemplative aspects were strong.. and his understanding about human nature started to grow as he had many life experiences both looking outwards and later in his life.. also inwards.. 

He had a perfectionist side which caused him both a lot of suffering and opportunities for growth. He has eventually learned to become much more balanced, living more from his center.. after much messing around.. Looking back.. the dots connect.. and it has been a great learning experience that led to awareness of more Love, more peace, more wisdom.. more creative mastery. His journey continues.. and Erdal continues to share .. OK.. this was a nice experiment of writing in third person perspective.. It was interesting.. I hope you liked it..

My growth still continues.. and I am both helping others and working on my own challenges. I want to continue to share this Love, wisdom and creative mastery I found within myself with you, with humanity and all beings.. as I continue my life journey. This site is one of the ways I do it. Enjoy it.

For the last 2-3 years, I have been living in a small town, learning to live from my heart more fully, making experiments of farming, doing some translations online, giving life coaching, sharing experiences with like minded friends, meditating, supporting and passing time with animals, exercising, cycling, playing computer games.. oh I forgot to mention.. I am a gamer since my teens.. and I enjoyed playing role playing games with my friends at High School and early University.. Then we lost the groups where everybody got engaged in work life.. We were reading fantasy novels too.. Dune.. Rama.. Wheel of Time.. Dragonlance.. Lately I play occasionally a few games.. 

I decided to become more in service as I progressed through my own challenges.. and I have been working on this site lately to create an opportunity for service.. So this is about me for now.. 

Much Love..