Perhaps it started when I started to go the ego’s way in small things. Perhaps, when I did not deliberately focus on God but focused on the ego instead. It is so subtle. You try to make yourself believe that you can both focus on the desire of the ego and God. You feel something is wrong in what you are doing. But you continue. And then the spiral begins.
This time I came up with a vow. In one day my outlook on life changed from almost total control of the ego to peace and serenity.
Here is the vow:
Spiritual Practice and Vow
1- The purpose of this wow is to create a spiritual practice that I will follow until I am a God realized being.
2- I wow to keep practicing this practice until I am enlightened.
3- I wow to keep concentrating on God through the Spiritual Heart all the time whenever it is in my power.
4- I wow to return concentrating on God through the Spiritual Heart whenever I realize that I lost my concentration.
5- I wow to remind myself of this wow, before and after sitting meditations.
6- I wow to practice 1 hour sitting meditation after hygiene every morning.
7- I wow to practice 1 hour sitting meditation every evening.
8- I wow to practice sitting meditation before I go to sleep.
9- I wow to consult the Higher Self in every decision and follow it’s guidance to my best ability every moment.
10- I wow to continue this practice no matter how hardly my ego resists.