I’m giving 12th boards right now and my exams are not going well I’m scared,lot of expectations I’ve broke, there is going to be a lot of comments also from my own mother about my failure,I have inner self esteem destroyed too, I wanted above 90% but that looks like a dream,I feel useless & dumb..
Feel these feelings, but also be aware that what society have told you who you are is not who you are. Discern the truth by looking at your experience yourself. Is your worth to be determined by what others think of you or what you truly feel from within yourself? One part of you might be believing that what others think of you should determine your worth, but really look into it consciously. The more consciously you look at your life, the more you will see that your worth is innate. That nothing can take it away. Every human being goes through these feelings of worthlessness at a certain point at a certain life. You have the opportunity to learn what the human condition is, what being judged by others feels like (what believing in these judgments as truth feels like). But, look within yourself, deeper than these judgments, and feel the unconditional love already within you. Find it. It is there. It is there for you, always. Once you go through these experiences looking deep within, you will grow and then these judgments won’t affect you as they are affecting right now. It may feel difficult to face these feelings, but you are strong enough if you allow yourself to discover that.
You can also share your feelings with wise people who would support you and understand you. There is nothing wrong with these feelings. Another perspective of someone who has grown through these feelings can help you understand that your worth does not have to be based on your accomplishments in life. Believing the judgments I mentioned can be very debilitating because once we find ourselves in a position where our accomplishments are not as they should be according to the society, we feel guilt or shame. Be aware that these feelings are not serving your highest good if you keep stuck with them, because they block the flow of love coming into you. Just see them as what they are. If at any moment you believe you don’t deserve love, you are blocking your happiness. Only you can look within and see with direct experience that in truth Love is always available for you, and nothing can change this in the world. Then you will find that these beliefs of worthlessness are not serving you any more, were only given to you by people who had limited understanding about the world, and themselves. Increase your understanding to the depth of yourself, and it is guaranteed that you will find that these beliefs are only temporary illusions that you have believed.