On Patience, Forgiveness, Trust

by | Apr 29, 2016 | Blog Post (Translated from Turkish)

* Visit this link to read the original Turkish version of this post before translation.

In this article, I will share with you how I was relieved after a period of intense emotions. I will talk about my personal experience, relate it to the basic dynamics of life and offer a perspective that you can relate to your own life.

I chose to help an acquaintance of mine by making an effort to trust him on his promises, but when the day came, he could not keep his word.

Throughout this whole process, many thoughts about him not being able to keep his promise were swirling around in my head. On the one hand, I wanted to help, but on the other hand, I felt that I was making myself vulnerable and taking a risk, and I was also experiencing feelings of discomfort and anger. This went on for a long time, I helped him many times and postponed his promise as much as possible.

Finally the day came. Until that day came, I made an effort to trust in life and to feel that everything happens for a reason.

I wanted him to keep his promise and the fact that he couldn’t was making me very angry. And this anger kept me very busy. But I didn’t project my anger on him, part of me knew that it was not entirely in his hands and that he was going through difficulties.

I have had similar experiences in the past. I had made promises I couldn’t keep, thinking I would keep them. I had trusted other people’s promises and I had done my best, and then when I was in a jam, a lot of people came at me and it made me very sad. I wasn’t exactly acting in tune with my heart, I was trying to use my personal power to manipulate things and make things happen the way I wanted them to happen, and it made me very, very tired.

I would later realize my mistake. I had acted as if I was a separate being from the whole of life, from creation. I had tried to somehow dominate life. I had acted without fully realizing that the whole has an intelligence and a desire. It was a normal mistake, and it would lead to very deep awakenings for me. Every mistake is also an opportunity. It is a gift of life, of creation, of God.

Now I will explain it in a way that will appeal to all of you, whether you are religious or atheist. That mistake eventually led me to realize that everything comes from God. Or I should say, it made me realize that life is a monolithic whole, that everything is interconnected and interrelated, that the finger cannot control the body, that the body moves as a whole.

Still, I didn’t lose all my fears and ego all at once. It wasn’t a deep awakening at that level, but it prepared the ground for what came after. In the articles I have written in the past years, I have tried to share a little bit of what I have learned in this awakening process.

So in the chain of events I described at the beginning of this article, when I was broken promises and seemingly harmed, it made me angry.

In the last months my energy has been building up, I now have a higher energy, and the emotions I experience are more intense. When the body is purified to a certain extent, and there is some experience of living heart-centered, the energy can now reside in the body in a more controlled way. You can retain and control as much energy as you can handle, or you can waste energy in the desire to drop to a lower energy. As your centeredness increases, you begin to understand the mechanisms of some of the desires that were causing energy to flow out in the past, and your energy no longer goes to those desires as much.

That’s why this seemingly simple event created very intense emotions in me. I started to distract myself with food in a semi-controlled way, but at the same time I made an effort to be patient, to focus on the Spiritual Heart, to stay in a state of awareness. In anger I did some actions, I did some small damage. For example, I got angry with my dog because he wouldn’t listen to me, I pulled him quickly by the leash to go where I wanted him to go. He got scared. I was aware of all these things but I couldn’t get full control because I couldn’t get rid of the emotion inside me yet.

I came across a video on Facebook. It was about how they were trying to rescue a girl from a car that had been in an accident, and when they failed and were desperate, the girl called out loudly for prayer, and they all prayed together, and then a priest with a bottle came out of the road, asked permission and blessed the girl. They were told that they could relax and the girl could be saved, they relaxed and their tools worked this time and they saved the girl from the car.

This reminded me of something I already knew inside. I was already trying to do it, but this time I prayed out loud, and I talked to God. I told him what I was realizing. The main problem was my fear of survival, or my fear of being supported. I said out loud that I wanted to get rid of this fear completely, and that I could only do it through the power of God. I was also feeling more and more the energy in my heart. I sincerely declared to myself that everything comes from God. It was in God’s hands whether the promise was kept or broken. What I had to do here, or what I had to fully understand, was to surrender to that. When I surrendered, I was not helpless or powerless, but rather in a state of security and strength from God. This was not helpless fatalism, but realism.

There will be those who will say where is the science? Then I suggest them to answer this question: What is the probability of any event happening? Please compare it with my answer. My answer is: 50%. Because I think there is no fixed reality. Everything is a potentiality. Everything can manifest in any way, including time and space. And everything, every possibility is possible. We experience only one of them at a given moment. God is the improbability that contains the totality of all possibilities. God can experience any possibility He wants. And he can experience a personal reality according to the position from which he is looking. Right now, as you are reading, my reader, he is looking through your eyes, and as I am writing, he is looking through my eyes, he is writing through my fingers. So if God wants, a possibility becomes an experience in his eyes, that is, it becomes a reality, and if he doesn’t want it, it remains a potential. So it doesn’t happen. Therefore the probability of everything happening is 50%. For example, the probability of drawing a red marble from a box with 2 blue and 1 red marble is 1/3 according to the definition of probability in mathematics, but 50% according to my definition. Because if God wants you to draw red, if not, you don’t. It doesn’t depend on chance, it depends on the desire of the absolute consciousness that wants to experience, whether something can happen or not. Let’s go on. What is the probability that the marble you draw will be both red and blue at the same time? 50%. Because if God wills it, you will see that marble both red and blue at the same time. He can play with all the rules of reality if he wants to. What is the probability of God playing with the rules of reality? 50%. So don’t think that the numbers that some scientists interpret as constants are absolute constants. The probability of them changing at any given moment is 50%.

I call it absolute probability theory. Absolute probability theory says that the probability of something happening is always 50%. Absolute probability theory takes its name from the absolute. In this theory, probability is defined from the point of view of the absolute. 50% implies that from an absolute level, everything is possible and changeable. Of course, 50% becomes 100% in an instant, that is, it happens when the absolute decrees it, when it wants to see it that way, when it says it will happen. At the same time, it remains 50%, the same event may not happen in another realm, but it may happen in this realm. Everything that is willed is experienced as willed by the Absolute. Remember the concept of parallel universe?

And how did I relax? When I remembered the Absolute and surrendered to it, I realized more clearly this truth I was telling you. My survival would also be the decision of the Absolute. I was also a creation of the Absolute. I declared this while praying. From another point of view, the Absolute was declaring this through my mouth, and since I was his creation, the Absolute was making me say it. And realizing that my fear of survival, my fear of being without support, was in a way overshadowing and overshadowing the fact that everything was coming from the absolute, I had the desire, the surrender, to release it.

Whatever happens now. Since everything is from him, there is no need to worry when I feel this.

Patience in the title of the article is my focusing on my heart and staying in a state of awareness, surrendering to God’s will while these feelings are happening inside me.

Forgiveness is the expansion of my mind as a result of patience, and with the increase in awareness, the realization of God, and the release of the temporary reality that weighs me down, the absolute perspective, the awareness that everything is from him. You don’t need to write a philosophical essay for that, just feel God, feel Love, surrender to whatever it is in you, even if you don’t name it.

Trust… is the feeling that has been developing more and more in me in this process, and that has increased with patience and forgiveness. Trust and surrender are feelings and states that develop together.

The mind will expand as you stay in the state of awareness, as you sincerely experience true patience, which is not in the sense of persecuting yourself. Expanding mind means a soul that develops understanding, that feels more free from patterns. A soul that is closer to the perspective of the kitchen.

Note immediately after the article: I am now waiting for the dog to return to the entrance of the apartment building. I have to ask his forgiveness too. I am not completely at peace yet, but I am in a process of relaxation.


Question: “If we make, say, 100,000 trials to test the probability of drawing a red marble from a bag of 2 blue + 1 red marble that is homogeneous in shape and not fragile, why do we always draw around 33,000 (if not 33,333) red marbles and end up with an average of 1/3?”

Answer: Let’s call the 100,000 trials operation A. The absolute probability that the result of operation A is 33,333 is 50%. No matter how many times operation A is repeated, there is no guarantee that at any given moment, on any given repetition, the result will be 33,333. What I am saying is that whether it is 33.333 or not is absolutely determined by God, from the human perspective it cannot be determined, it cannot be known what the exact result will be on that trial. But if man gets closer to God, that is, if he takes his awareness beyond his five senses and when he puts his hand in the bag he is aware of which marble he is pulling out, even if he cannot see it with his eyes, he can feel what the result will be when the result is created. If he goes beyond that and brings his awareness to the intellectual dimension where the result is being created and observes the thought-schema of the reality in which he exists, then again he can see with certainty what the result is being created as. If he gets a little closer to God, he realizes that his personal being is one with God, and he sees that he created that thought-schema. He has reached the dimension where he knows that the outcome is always in his (his) hands. For the human being who sees himself as separate from God and wants to control his life with the superficial thoughts in his mind, there will always be 50%. He will never be able to fully control the reality he is in, no matter how he defines science. Whether he will succeed in something or not will always remain an unknown, always a 50%. But that same person, if he really desires, deep down in his heart he will be able to find out what his destiny is, because there is God.

From here I come to this. A person who lives in harmony with his/her heart/God/Deepest desires/Love can move forward in life with confidence even if he/she doesn’t know many things personally. But a person who knows many things personally but lives in conflict with their heart may not feel the same confidence. This is the relationship between the concepts of patience, forgiveness and trust in the article.

So, as the number of repetitions increases, can it be guaranteed that the result of operation A will be around 30,000 on average? I will answer this question by saying that while we try to keep our eyes closed, we (God) actually determine the result. The scientist who puts his hand in the bag can, if God wills it, get a result of, say, 10,000 each time. God also determines the angle at which the scientist puts his hand in the bag each time. But when we close our eyes to this, we want to think that it is random or chance. All the chemical reactions in the scientist’s body, all the physical reactions, all the emotions that he is experiencing, all the thoughts that he is carrying, we want to close our eyes to that and see the scientist’s attitude towards the bag as neutral or random. But in fact it is not random, and it turns out that this too can be known if you scrutinize it enough. Even if we do the process with a robot arm, if the behavior of the random number generator chip of the robot arm is examined enough, it will be found that it cannot be absolutely random.

My claim is that when this experiment is done by different scientists, different results will be obtained. A scientist with multidimensional awareness can influence and determine the outcome of the experiment as he wishes. Of course, such men don’t go around doing things like this in order not to disturb the order of the world.

To imagine how this could happen, we can try to answer whether a scientist who wants to influence the outcome of an experiment can do so when the bag is transparent. Of course, there are scientists who would not be able to control themselves and get the result they want even if the bag was transparent 🙂 There will always be the God factor.

Why do we postpone something we apparently want to do? Or why do we behave differently than we think we want to? Why does procrastination happen? This article and Q&A actually answers these questions too.

Question/Comment: “To what extent is it correct to say that a scientist with multidimensional awareness can influence the outcome of an experiment as he pleases, and to imply that he has a kind of arbitrariness about not doing such things in order not to disturb the order of the world? In order not to contradict the article, since God ultimately makes the decision (at least since no decision is made independently of God), humans should not be able to have such a choice, no matter what level of divinity and oneness with God they have. If god wanted to, he could make the dice roll 7-6, but why would he do that? Or why would god make a robot (or a human) draw the same ball in all 100,000 draws from those three bags? Why would he want to show people such concrete proofs (miracles)? Isn’t one of god’s goals to make people not see/hear the miracle/miracles but to feel it in their hearts and therefore believe in him? after all, god wants to and does maintain the 1/3 ratio that statistical science says is the ratio in those three pots…”

Answer: Yes… I also think that God doesn’t force people to see things they don’t believe in… but once they can believe without any coercion, then maybe miracles start to appear… from one point of view God wants people to find him of their own free will… that’s why such persons can only be recognized by people who believe, since God doesn’t want to violate free will, those persons don’t want to violate free will either. but to those who believe and want to see, they appear with their miracles…

Adding to the answer: Now I’m going to make a connection between the balls we draw from the bag and the atoms that make us up. We talked about the possibility of the blue and red balls drawn from the bag being in a certain sequence in the successive trials. Just like the balls of different colors, how mathematically unlikely is it that countless atoms (Carbon, Hydrogen, Oxygen, Nitrogen, etc.) will be arranged exactly in such a way as to form us, a human body? But this is exactly the arrangement of atoms, and I can even write an article about the arrangement of my atoms from this body. When we observe this, does the theory of absolute probability, i.e. 50% (or rather conscious creation, i.e. 100%) come closer to you, or the mathematical probability, i.e. about 0.0000000..1%? When I look at it along this line of thought, I realize that a miracle is happening right in front of our eyes, and that we often fail to see that this miracle is us.

The science of statistics creates an abstract, conceptual system within itself. probability is defined by the number of balls in the bag. if we want to adapt this to the physical world, we need to create a homogeneous bag, balls, and a hand that draws an unbiased ball and mixes the bag perfectly every time. this is theoretically possible, but it doesn’t exist in the world we live in right now. we can get close to this if we really push it, we have the freedom to do so. But to elaborate on my point in the article, the human factor, or rather the factor of thought and emotion in the world we live in now, animals, plants, insects, other living things, all form a single organism, and it would be more realistic to think of this organism as a whole, of which we ourselves are a part, and to approach life in that way, I was trying to convey the importance of focusing on and surrendering to the will of the whole beyond our personal selves, that our personal thoughts may not fully reflect the state of the whole, that achieving a state of mind where we can think and feel at one with the whole can create more harmonious results in our lives. . in the process of doing this, sometimes a lot of inner resistance arises. i experience this myself. i have partly written about it in this article. in the next posts, i hope i will continue to open these topics.

About the translation: This writing has been translated into English from Turkish with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version/2022). It uses AI and deep learning algorithms to provide translations with very close ratings to human translators. It was the most accurate computer translator as of 2022 and I am using it to be able to make available all my writings in Turkish or English in both languages, making minor edits to the translations when I have the time if I notice any need of improvement and also to make it possible to provide translations of as much as possible of my site’s content in other languages in the future. 

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