12:53: I saw my father off this morning. I was writing an article this morning, but I stopped publishing it. It was an article about meditation in a symbolic language, with very close analogies. I stopped because I thought it was better to be closer to the final stages, or to have reached them, to be able to write such an article.
We had to leave the house early in the morning for my father to leave early and I couldn’t meditate for more than 5 minutes. I ate a green apple on the way out of the house. When we came back our neighbor offered us dessert. I didn’t take the plate with a lot of baklava, I entered as their guest and ate one baklava. I became their guest to see my father off and eat the leaf rolls they offered me. And of course we had a conversation. Our 55-year-old neighbor and his university-age son had a long conversation, sometimes both of them and sometimes one by one. I stayed there for about 2 hours.
When I came home, I came home having lost my center, or rather thoughts and ego were activated. I ate what was left of the cheddar cheese that my father had bought from the refrigerator, about 200 grams. Yes, on the 5th day the mind started to get activated and I started to spiral out of the center.
Since we are sharing here. Let me share this stage so you can see the difficulties I had on the way. When I left last night, I left the house calm, healthy and energized. Now there is energy and health but the serenity is suppressed.
Why is that?
I think the reason is very clear and simple. I stopped making the effort to maintain the meditative state, to maintain the focus on the Spiritual Heart. I allowed the events that were happening to take up almost all of my attention, which brought a decrease in stillness, which brought a covering by the activity in my mind. Nothing negative. We had a nice conversation, I had some nice dolmades, I just had a nice cheese.
But there are choices and consequences. If I had continued meditating, now my stillness and peace would have deepened even more, my physical needs would have decreased, my energy would have increased even more. I think, and I’m quite sure of this because of the lessons I’ve learned over the years, that it takes persistence in focus, a great determination, to reach enlightenment. Of course, these experiences accumulated in me and led me to write the present article. That’s how I learned the lesson that led me to be able to make a clear distinction about continuity in focus. So, even if you dive in life, the memories you make accumulate in you as experience and serve as a reference point for you to take the next step.
But… Really taking the next step. Do we want this or not? Do we choose this or not? That’s where it all comes down to.
Do we choose to maintain the focus or not? This is what is called free will. Will we choose every moment to maintain our focus on the truth, on the path to enlightenment? Everything depends on that. Because God gives us what we really want. He gives us what we want deep down. Or if we don’t focus on what we want deep down and we focus on our conflicting desires on the surface, he gives us life, some of our wishes fulfilled and some not fulfilled because they contradict each other. But in fact, by focusing on this contradiction, by keeping it alive and not focusing on our deeper desire, we are choosing this whole situation, we are asking for it. So we are actually getting what we want again.
So what am I going to do? I confess: I can’t set the intention to walk with all my strength from now until the last stage today. To continue for a month and see what happens? 4 days was enough for that. I have seen that the way to the highest stages of heaven is open. But I am not yet clearly willing to go there at this stage. I want to play in the mud a little more, but in an innocent way, without harming my surroundings as much as possible. I know that God is giving me this freedom. Why did God create this universe, why the infinite universe if souls don’t have the right to live in every frequency range? Yes, I think some lessons await me in the coming days. But honesty at least gives you the ability to be what you appear to be, to appear as you are. In general, it seems inevitable that I will experience some loss of energy after this stage. I will examine this thoroughly and maybe learn some lessons in the coming days. I wish you all the best. 1:16 July 19, 2015
14:18 I would like to add one more thing. As a result of my efforts, I feel more mature and insightful now. I am glad that the last 5 days have been good. Now I also feel that I will take more confident steps forward because of the lessons I have learned. So this is a process, and instant decisions shape it, but experience also accumulates. For example, at least now I can intuit to a certain extent which path will be thorny and how thorny it will be. So I will say, the efforts are not wasted, so don’t be afraid to make efforts. 14:21 July 19, 2015